So this morning we had a slight meltdown. H asked for her milk, so I promptly ran downstairs to get it, along with my much needed cup of tea. I said to her to watch Peppa Pig for 2mins whilst i go down and not to wake Phoenix. I got downstairs – then heard her innocent little footsteps, ran back up to see her snuggling into a very fast asleep P (and also kind of massaging his head with her face which ruffled up his cradle cap – nice) I then pulled her off him as she was being a little too loving – not realising that I had got the wrong arm and actually got P’s arm which then startled & woke him. doh. This then made me pee’d off as it makes the morning a lot stressful to get three kids and myself ready for the pre-school run (out the house by 8:20am).
I then shouted at her for not listening (silly i know, she’s only almost two! can you see i’m thinking with a much more level head now?) Then I felt terrible for telling her off (mum guilt) and felt even more terrible for over-reacting & lifting her off quick – waking P, when I could’ve just been a lot less-stressed & should have just been calmer. (Can you tell tiredness causes havoc).
Y-M then woke up all full of smiles and sat with P, I then thought ‘it’s gone quiet…. where has H gone now’? or more importantly WHAT is she up to now? – I went to the bathroom (which I stupidly forgot to lock) and what did I see.. She had only helped herself to my brand spanking new Elemis indulgent bath set and smeared the body lotion all over her hands, arms, face – the lot. I shouted and said it was very silly, as it got in her eyes. sent her to her room whilst I tidied it all up (and whilst my eyes filled with defeated tears and gutted as I was looking forward to using my 7day old cream) – I then sat back and thought..
She’s almost TWO. She watches her Mummy putting on face cream so all she’s really doing is exploring and mimicking me. It shouldn’t be within their reach. (lesson learned) and also I then started to find it funny as all the little poppet was trying to do was copy her Mummy. (even though i’m gutted that there is hardly any of the lovely body lotion left) hey, at least she smells lush!
We then got to school, joined in the singing session, that the girls sang in front the whole class at the end – proud Mama alert – all the stress monsters inside me flew away, I embraced this sweet moment, and forgot the feeling of feeling like a failure as a Mum.
I just think I need to stop hurrying about, even if I need to get Y-M to her pre-school. she’s only 3.5. I am still questioning why I ever started her in Jan, when I had so much going on (toddler in tow, due to give birth, really?) and then the pre-school run in the wet weather we’ve had, with a newborn and toddler – fun. I spent a few weeks, feeling so overwhelmed and stressed that i was constantly racing against the clock each morning – horrible. It got easier, but who can predict mornings like this, involving face cream explosion, emotional battles all round, not having time to brush teeth, use a barbie brush to do Y-M’s hair, kids eat breakfast on the go, i skip eating etc.
I do need to remember that I will have mornings like this, and not to get torn apart by it, having mornings like this doesn’t make me, or anyone a bad mum. it’s natural! and to be honest (as i’m sat here with peace and quiet and feeling rather chilled – its quite funny and eventful now!)
This was after the pre-school drop off having a swing, then I cleaned the dripping wet and full of puddles slide just for her to only sneak to the other dripping wet one whilst I was feeding Phoenix… I was feeling rather tranquil and just thought about my expectations again, this time realistic. she’s almost two, puddles are way more fun even if it means your backside is soaked, in her mind puddles make good beverages too (yuk) and running wild with soaking clothes, messy hair, mud on her face is the way to act as a kid.
Children’s exploration & freedom is to be embraced, not limited. (obviously subject to their safety)
We both needed this time to remember what its all about. Plus, zip wires are fab.
It then started to pour with rain, yeah we forgot the rain cover too…then went home, (Y-M was off to Blenheim Palace after pre-school with Granny today) I had my lunch made by H – home made pizzas, yummy! P slept, H then watched the much loved Frozen dvd, and fell asleep.
So anyone who’s having a rubbish day, just take a breather, get out for some fresh air, and just. be.
(or jump on a zip wire!)