Parenting is one of the most challenging and rewarding things in my eyes. Even though we have three little ones, each one is similar but very different at the same time. When I gave birth for the second and third time I automatically thought that parenting would be the same as the first time. In ways it was, but in others it was a whole new ball game. That being said, we have our way with how we know our little ones in side out. just like any parent. The thing is, even though you know them pretty well, you sometimes forget that the older child will always be the first learning new things. They will be the one that shows you all the changes, different age stages and phases first. After all, they were the ones who made you a parent in the first place.
With our Yve’s I sometimes feel like we expect a lot from her. Being the eldest I sometimes think I know all of her, then there will be a moment where the ‘ages & stages’ come into play. Being a Mama to three under 4 and a half can really test the balance of it all, I won’t lie there, & I do feel that I sometimes forget that she is learning all these things that are new too. This isn’t always the case at all, I feel we do a brilliant job with balancing our three, sometimes we get it wrong but this is natural and it makes us the parents we are today – the ones our littles adore, not half as much as we adore them. I find it so hard sometimes telling the two things apart as Yve’s is and always has been forward for her age, a bright spark, thrives on knowing everything – a little sponge. If you meet her, she will seem a lot older than the small age of 4 and a half. This is something I grieve really, as much as I love to see her learn new things, have an inquisitive mind, a thirst for living, I feel so sad that she is growing so fast.
The ages and stages can be tricky at times. Constant wondering whats right, whats wrong, are we doing enough, are they happy etc. All the things we think about, just like ay parent do naturally. We’ve reached the stage of a so called ‘fashion frenzy’ with Yve’s at the moment. We’ve always been relaxed with our parenting, and especially in our littles having their own mind. So when it comes to clothing, we love for them to have an interest in what they like, what they’re comfortable in etc. Recently though in the past three-four weeks; Yve’s has been a little obsessed with it all, to the point of it reducing me to tears in that I’m worrying if someone has said something at pre-school as she will say ‘oh so & so doesn’t like that’ for example. I’ve mentioned it to the teachers, but they said that they haven’t seen anything so not sure where it’s coming from. Has anyone close to us said something, anything off the tv. The Tv can be such a pain sometimes, as they plaster so many adverts all over it and this is very influential to innocent children. This is why now we use our sart Tv to watch specific things we’ve searched with no adverts, or to watch a dvd. This way, we can balance it a bit more and it definitely curves the whole “I want” situation a bit.
Its really got to me as every single morning its a battle. “no down sleeves’, ‘only up sleeves’, ‘nakey legs with no trousers’, ‘only a dress’, not blue, black, or blank’, to name a few. It’s bizarre at how its come about so rapidly. I find it hard to get the balance of giving her freedom of herself and also being a guidance for her, especially weather-permitting clothing. Sometimes I can talk her round, then others its an almighty stand off – not something my biggest girl has ever done really and its upsetting for me, why she has such a complex of what she’s wearing at such a young age, or is she simply expressing herself?
the other day we went on a ‘Mama & Yve date’, She chose to wear her favourite ‘minty dress’, an Anna cape, carrying her Elsa Doll and a plastic phone in a baby carrying – this was her expressing her little interests and I loved it.
I’ve read a couple of blogs where the parent has written the exact same thing about their ‘four year olds’, that its a ‘phase, age and stages situation’. It can be hard, but maybe this is all personality building her her, even if it is hard at times. I just don’t want my little girl growing up too fast, I want her to relish in this magical, innocent thing called childhood. Grab it with both hands and stay there for as long as possible.
When playing, i’ve noticed sometimes that she’s become more aware if people are watching, or nearby and gets embarrassed easily. We’ve never made her feel this way, so we still just encourage her that play is good, pretending is a fun thing, and that magic is everywhere, if you believe.
Four is such a small age yet so big in comparison to the toddler years, our girl is blossoming in so many ways, she’s the most thoughtful, bright as a button, beautiful, inquisitive, and loving little girl. She has always had the biggest heart of gold, & I feel blessed to have her in my life.
She is the one who made me a Mama.
For that, I will be eternally grateful.
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