End of a journey.
With all of them it wasn’t all plain sailing, but we persevered, and managed the rollercoaster and eventually really enjoyed the journey and experiences together. It taught me a lot about myself, I realised I was stronger than I ever imagined, that feeding babies from your boobs wasn’t always easy, and taught me that devoting my life to being my babies ‘life support’ for at least the first 6 months was an incredible job to have. After each time a breastfeeding journey has ended, I’ve felt so bittersweet. I feel extremely proud to have had the experience, yet I feel like i’ve lost a part of me as it’s been a huge part of my life since the birth of our first baby back in October 2010. I will miss the way my baby boy would snuggle up to me ad make sure I was as close as could be, the feeling of his arm wrapping around my back as a sign that he’s not letting me go, Those beautiful (and also extremely tiring at times) night feeds, where no one else is awake just him in my arms gazing up at me with those beady blue eyes with that look of love, the way his big sisters would sit with us and admire watching as he fed, asking if he likes his milk and asking questions about when they fed from their Mumma, those moments when it all got a bit much and all he wanted was to feed when in his carrier while walking along the beach in Hayling Island, and in recent times, banging on my boobs shouting ‘boooobie’!
All those wondrous little but incredible memories built.
I look at my darling boy today and he’s a fearless, happy, and adventurous little soul, he is forever offering his loving charms and is just so excited about life, he doesn’t want to miss a single thing. These days you’ll see him chasing after the henry hoover, Daddy’s tools or searching for his favourite books (My first Farm encyclopaedia or Postman bear), or following his big sisters in their little adventures.
To some he’s no longer that tiny newborn who solely depended on me and that I feel sad about but ever so happy as I am watching him thrive and blossom into such an amazing little boy. That being said, when we’re snuggled together, I study his sweet face resting in on me, or tiny hands reaching for mine, toes curling in comfort, I can still see those little glimmers of baby, forever he will be my baby boy, just like my little girls will always be my babies.
Which ever way you choose to feed your baby is your choice, no one elses. For me, as my opinion from my experiences – I will be eternally grateful I chose this journey, it’s given me amazing memories with my three beautiful children. now my baby boy loves to have his bottle of cows milk by his choice, after introducing it with cereals, and knowing that he doesn’t necessarily need to ‘work’ to get the milk out – I think it was a no brainer for him, he’s still as snuggly as ever – if not even more.
We haven’t lost that, and I hope we never will.
*side note: the things I will not miss in this journey is the Mastitis, thrush, nipple soreness, or the up the back neck and down the leg ‘korma poops’ – just thought i’d put it out there! 😉
Ordinary Moments 2015 – 30/52