Our 20 week scans, gender and roller coaster news.
Last Saturday, we got up nice and early as usual (usually stupid early as the kids seem to know its the weekend these days, when all we want to do is catch extra sleep, yeah maybe in twenty years!) we got ourselves ready, hopped in the car – all very excited to see our little baby bump again. I did have little anxious feelings, but I think that’s only natural with any scan you attend, its the unknown waiting for you no matter how positive you try to be, all we wanted to know was that our little baby was continuing to grow happy & healthy.
We got to the hospital, the unit was running pretty late, but this was to be expected on a busy Saturday morning. Mr T had football not long after our appointment so we were wondering if we’d make it all in time. The little ones had been so patient and played nicely sat with us, and reading books eagerly waiting for Mummy’s name to be called, and …45 minutes later, it was our time to go in to see our baby.
What we usually would expect, a pleasant and happy member of staff greeting us in didn’t happen this time. Instead we had this very rude, abrupt, sarcastic, and unsympathetic person stood before us ordering how we sat, no smile, no you know usual talk that goes on on any maternity unit – it was just stern, and quite shocking. We fully understood that it was busy, but making someones experience feel so un special wasn’t needed at all. Phoenix and Daddy went for a little walk as he was getting a little upset about Mummy being poked and prodded and his nap was well over due from the appointment being so late. This then left the girls & I waiting to see our little bundle. They sat so patiently, smiles spread across their sweet faces staring at the screen waiting, while the moody sonographer dictated to me how they need to be sat straight and nicely, talking to me but with her back completely turned on me. I then laid down ready, asked if I could have a cushion to support my head as when I lay on a flat surface my back just can’t handle it easily at the minute due to my split muscles which I explained to her – she snapped with ‘well sit up and i’ll put the bed up, you are not allowed your hand near your head’, I said okay and again asked for a little assistance due to the pain but no, i was completely ignored and looked at like I was being pathetic. I also mentioned that when scanning, could she not put so much pressure on the area near my belly button as my tummy split is very sensitive there at the minute, she responded with the snappy ‘we never scan that high up, your uterus isn’t that big’. So as you get the idea of how unprofessional and rude she was we got on with the scan, and to be honest she had already ruined the experience for us already with her attitude, it felt so unimportant to her and she made that known, it was almost as if she was scanning items in a supermarket – no joke.
Any other time I would’ve said something, but you know when you’re emotional, and actually in a state of disbelief, and also trying to keep calm, cool and brave in front of your little ones. I was just wishing for the scan to be over but also talking away to my girls to reassure them that they were looking at their baby brother or sister.
The sonographer then mentioned with no emotion at all, no sympathy that the baby’s bowel looked abnormal, it was brighter than it should be and that we needed to see a consultant within three days to see the issue in more depth. I can’t explain the feeling I felt being told that, fighting back tears in front of my girls and for her to then give me a few leaflets on ‘echogenic bowel’ (could be markers for things such as cystic fibrosis, along with other serious illnesses.) I couldn’t believe my eyes, we’ve never ever had an experience like this before, and I was just praying that it was a horrible joke, or just a mistake. As I got my bags, she then snapped ‘Well I won’t bother telling you not to worry as I can see you already are, bye bye’.
Walking out, waiting to see Mr T, I just had to say ‘give me a minute’ before rushing to the toilet to again try and compose myself before returning to face my girls, the waiting room and my flu jab. I didn’t say one word to him until we got to the car as I just needed to process it all, kind of anyway. He said he knew the minute I opened the door that there was something wrong. He just said ‘we’ll see the specialist and see what they say, ignore that lady, she was probably having a bad day as it was obviously quite busy, but she still shouldn’t have been so rude. We’ll deal with it together.’
On the brighter side of things, we had our referral scan on Thursday evening, again with lots of worrying going on, we were finally put at ease by our lovely consultant sonographer. Completely a whole different experience, positive and thoughtful. All the things I asked the previous person (the muscles sensitivity, the position I laid, my hand up near my head) I said to him and not once did he question any of it, he also apologised for her behaviour and has confirmed my decision to report her to be honest. Along with this, he quietly scanned our baby, not saying too much – which left me worrying even more. At the end, he then asked the gestation and weights of our previous babies, we responded, then he ended the conversation with a huge smile and ‘I believe there is nothing wrong with this baby at all’.
In that 30 minute appointment, we were reassured that our little baby bump is continuing to grow very well, with no abnormality. There has even been a weigh gain of almost 80g in just 5 days! sounds small i know but equally amazing in pregnancy talk. I can’t put into words how happy we felt walking out of there with our little scan photo (the previous lady didn’t give us one.) Mr T & I hugged each other so hard, smiling so much and with him saying ‘see, I told you our babies are strong, that lady just had a bee in her bonnet that obviously effected her work ethic’.
Keep growing strong little baby, your siblings can’t wait to meet you, neither can we!
and for the baby’s gender….