Our little baby is four weeks old today and we still are in this funny ‘newborn haze’, but more so a ‘whirlwind’. As with experience, the more children you have, the more hectic it seems when you introduce a new sibling into the family. Time is nearly always limited, your attention is wanted to be split four ways (in our case) with our littles and especially at their small ages of 5, almost 4, 2 and now a newborn.) not to mention us being a couple having to put us on hold for a while as we’re trying to get use to this new adjustment having another little life here.
I had little worries
before having our baby, just the usual niggles when you’re feeling super emotional anyway, and then worry how your little ones will be effected, will it be that beautiful relaxed newborn phase what it is named to be, and that we had with our first. The answer is no, and has been since having our second! Each of our babies have been born at completely different life situations to another, and have each brought elements which have meant that time is limited when trying to make the most and soak it all up.
Now this isn’t me having a moan, I’m extremely thankful, I just wish that I can relax and enjoy this last newborn journey that little bit more, we had two weeks with Mr T at home but even then it was back to school runs, time schedules and just being out of the kids little routine which made them a little out of sorts some days even though they were enjoying having daddy home – and me!
I’ve written before about wondering if starting the school chapter was a right move for us as a family
and that I’m still questioning as a slower paced life is what suits us, and having a newborn in the home once more is such a blessing, I just wish we had a little more time to process it as a family, Undisturbed.
The past few weeks have been a challenge for me in more ways than one, physically and emotionally as breastfeeding has been so painful once again
just like with my first. I’ve also written about the journeys
here before but the ten weeks of pain with her were not fun but then I had her to focus on, where as now it seems time to recover from it, and even from the fourth time labour seems hard and rushed despite having support from Mr T while off work.
All of this being said, we’ve been doing what we can, soaking up when we can and trying to make sure everyone’s needs are met in this crazy but wonderful phase, as we definitely all know how it goes by in an instant then we’re wishing for it back or to just be able to freeze time a little bit more.
We were saying just the other day actually that the more little ones you have close in age, it does make you seem to be in a state of blur more so. With this I mean that it still doesn’t seem like we’ve had time to process everything, especially as this is our last time doing this chapter of our lives with the birth, newborn stage the upcoming milestones and growth all round. So for me especially, I have moments when im holding our little baby, as she’s all tucked up in frog legs position on my chest, content with a fully tummy of Mama milk, I feel her deep breathing over me, her hands holding onto me, and the sweet smell of her newness sending me right back to that moment when I first held her and pulled her out the water onto my chest for the first time, and my heart starts to race, a rush of pride and love come over me all at once and thats when I realise that it has gone already, but its up to me to keep that memory alive just as it is with our other three children. I remember that moment so clearly with all three, and the moments after up to now.
So alongside all the madness, fast pace of the school run, the emotional outbreaks from any of us at times, the sleep deprivation, difficulties feeding still being present, and the feeling of not having time as a couple. I want to embrace it all, the changes, process & understand them and remember that we are ever so fortunate to have all four of them here in our lives with us, the little family that we created.
To know that this is life, things have to change, chapters come to an end but more importantly, new ones also begin too.
All four of my babies have known this dressing gown since birth. They love it just as much as I do, I live in it at home!
Milk time captured by Halle.
*I will be sharing our littlest lady’s birth story very soon along with lots more new posts.*